


homin | disguises, dresses, and drag

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Author: Ai, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho and Changmin take a walk around Seoul.<br/>In disguise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	homin | disguises, dresses, and drag

**Author's Note:**

> Yunho told us that he likes going on walks to clear his mind and often wears disguises so no one will recognize him.
> 
> For @KawaiPickle

“This is by far the stupidest idea you’ve ever had,” Changmin grumbled as he dragged Yunho away from yet another street vendor selling dduckbokki.

“Oh hush, Chandola,” Yunho replied.

“ _Jangmi_ ,” Changmin hissed, his face already a bright shade of red.

They were wandering around some random neighborhood in the middle of the afternoon. Nobody had recognized them yet, and Changmin hoped to keep it that way. It would be so much easier if Yunho would stop saying his name out loud. Or if Yunho would stop talking to _every single person_ he comes into contact with. Or if Jung Yunho would learn how to walk properly when wearing a dress.

It had been a weird day.

Yunho had been bored, and Changmin had been getting cabin fever, so they’d decided to go for a walk, Yunho’s stress-relief method of choice. Usually, Yunho’s jaunts involved him wandering the Japanese countryside for awhile in disguise and then taking a taxi back to their shared flat. But today, when they _both_ decided to go on a walk, they’d realized they would need disguises a little more effective than Yunho’s usual wig and glasses routine. One thing led to another and suddenly Changmin had found himself in full makeup, one of his button down shirts, a pencil skirt, pantyhose, and a trench coat standing next to Yunho who wore a knee-length dress paired with a cute sweater. It had been quite the challenge to find something that would disguise Yunho’s horse thighs, but they’d managed with the help of some of the coordinoonas who nearly _died_ over the chance to dress the two of them up.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” Changmin had grumbled. The girls had all just giggled at him and continued applying his eye makeup.

Changmin wore the same wig he had worn for the Kyuline performance of “Something” while they had borrowed a long, dark one for Yunho. Yunho kept flipping his hair over his shoulder, entranced by the longer locks.

Then there had been the shoe problem. By that time, Changmin was about ready to give up. They’d already wasted so much time choosing the outfits that it was hardly worth it to go out, but Yunho had been adamant. Yunho had ended up with a pair of sensible “fashion” sneakers, while Changmin managed to find some flats that would fit. They were already both too tall to pass convincingly as girls.

“We’ll just tell everyone we’re models,” Yunho had said.

“Hyung, we’re not telling _anyone anything_ ,” Changmin had replied.

Yunho just patted his head patronizingly. “That’s unnie to you, Jangmi.” He’d then insisted on going by _Beri_ due to his intense love of strawberries, despite Changmin trying to convince him that wasn’t a real name.

So here they were, headed to a restaurant on the outskirts of Seoul. Yunho kept striding along as if he were in basketball shorts and a t-shirt dressed as a dude, forgetting that he was supposed to be a lady. Changmin on the other hand took it as a challenge: he focused all of his energy into being as feminine as possible while saving his embarrassment at Yunho for revenge at a later date.

The restaurant owners greeted them as they entered. The female host smiled at them and directed the “two lovely ladies” to a table by the window. “I love your trench coat,” she said to Changmin.

“Thank you,” he replied with a quick bow. It came out as more of a squeak. Thankfully his voice was naturally higher than Yunho’s. That made things much easier.

The server happened to be a guy, probably around their age. When he came over to their table, he kept eyeing Changmin with a approving smile. Changmin hurriedly looked down at his menu and the guy’s eyes turned towards Yunho.

Yunho, the tease, was eating it right up. Changmin groaned inwardly as he saw Yunho bat his fake eyelashes at the waiter as he ordered for the two of them.

 _“What are you doing?”_ Changmin hissed.

“I’m just being nice!” Yunho replied. And then he smiled mischievously. “Jealous? Want me all to yourself?”

“Have you forgotten that you’re not actually a girl?” Changmin shot back.

“Oh _relax_ , Changminnie,” Yunho replied. “Loosen up and have a little fun!”

Changmin sat fuming. He wondered if he should get up to leave right now, but he really couldn’t leave Yunho in drag out in the world without someone to rein him in. Besides, what if they caused as scene and people remembered and people _realized_ it was them. Changmin would die.

After he brought their food, the waiter kept making a number of nonsense excuses just to talk to them. Yunho went on this whole long story about how they were actually Americans studying in Korea, and how they didn’t know Seoul very well, and _my_ how handsome the waiter was. It was straight up flirting and Changmin nearly gagged on his soup.

“Oh Jangmi!” Yunho exclaimed. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” Changmin gasped, reaching for the water.

“He might need mouth-to-mouth,” Yunho informed the waiter.

Changmin hurriedly shook his head no, trying to indicate that he would be fine. The soup wasn’t clearing from his airways so Yunho gave him a resounding _thwack_ on the back to dislodge anything from his throat. He sputtered a few times before finally regaining his breath.

The waiter looked impressed at the force Yunho had used. “Wow, you’re really something!” he said.

Echoes of _she got that something_ rang in Changmin’s head. _Yeah she got that something,_ he thought to himself. _It starts with a ‘D.’_

“You know, I’m not usually like this, but…” the waiter began. “Would you two be free tonight to go out for drinks with my friend and I?”

Yunho realized that his joke had gone a little too far and was clearly about to politely decline, when Changmin realized this would be his chance for revenge. “We would _love_ to,” he gushed. “Anything for such a handsome man like yourself.”

The waiter blushed a deep pink and Changmin cackled inwardly. This kid was pathetic. He excused himself to greet the couple that had just walked in, leaving Yunho free to lean over the table and whisper, _“Changdola! We can’t do that!”_

“Hey this was your idea, _unnie_ ,” Changmin replied. “I’m just making the best of it. Free drinks? Count me in.”

“I’m not leading that poor boy on,” Yunho said.

“Oh yeah, like you totally weren’t flirting with him two seconds earlier.”

They argued about what to do for awhile. Yunho suggested they meet the guys for drinks dressed as themselves, Changmin suggested they blow them off. In the end, they sort of compromised. Yunho took the guy’s phone number, fully intending to never call. Instead, he left a giant tip and signed his name on the receipt.

_P.S. Don’t tell anyone._

They escaped the restaurant before the waiter could read the note and practically ran down the street to escape. Once several blocks over, they finally stopped to catch their breath.

“Let’s never do that again,” Changmin said in his normal voice.

“Agreed,” Yunho replied.

They took a more leisurely route back to their apartment, stopping now and then to examine the street vendor’s wares. Right at the last one, they found a kind ahjumma trying to sell them couples rings for the handsome boyfriends she assumed they had.

“We, we actually are both single,” Yunho informed her.

The ahjumma seemed shocked. “Such pretty ladies? Single? Tsk, that just won’t do!” She pressed a set of rings into each boy’s hand and told them to keep it for when they found someone. “Or, I happen to have two _very_ handsome sons who would love to date pretty girls like you!”

Changmin dragged Yunho away before he could set them up on another date.

“Remind me to never go on a walk with you again,” he grumbled.

“I’ll take Heechul next time,” Yunho replied.

“As long as _he’s_ the one in drag,” Changmin said.

Yunho looked up with a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’ll take Heechul, you take Minho, and we can double date!”

Changmin groaned. “I hate you.”

Yunho put his arm around Changmin’s shoulder. “That’s not a very nice way to talk to your unnie.”

Changmin just groaned louder.


End file.
